Weight loss, child discipline, and the homeless

"Emmett, please don't do that" was the most common phrase I said during a trip to the grocery store yesterday. I finally resorted to bribery: "Okay Emmett, you can get those donuts ONLY if you listen and obey for the rest of the time we're here."

He didn't get the donuts. But since I had already bought them, I thought "I'll just eat them myself" (Little Red Hen philosophy). My diet doesn't endorse donuts. And I knew I would would be really disappointed in myself if I ate those donuts. But I was feeling pretty hungry, and my voice of reason gets bullied and ignored sometimes when I'm tired and grumpy (Emmett). But then I was saved by a guy who had a sign like this:

I don't think he knew he was saving me by taking those donuts. 

Unforgettable quotes

Emmett (while in bed): Mom!... Mom!... Mom!... My pajamas fell off!

Emmett (at the dinner table): I have a monster in my head.
Josh: I know.

Emmett: Mom, five plus five is eleven. Watch. (Then he counts his fingers, and they turn out to be eleven. Miraculously.)

Josh: Mom, can I pleeeeeeease mow the lawn???

Emmett: I don't like my brain. It doesn't listen to me!

Ryan: Josh, get your hand out of your pants.
4 seconds later: Josh, get your  hand out of your pants.
4 seconds later: Josh! Get your hand out of your pants!
Josh: Grrr! My hand has a mind of its own!!
(Sorry for that one...it was too funny to not post!)

Emmett: "my-own-self" = myself 
Example: Mom, I can pour my cereal my-own-self. Sometimes, though, it's shortened to "my-own." For example: Mom, can you help me? I can't do it by my-own.

Emmett, after cleaning some fish with Ryan, along with a very sincere hug: Dad, I really liked spending time with you when we ripped the fishes' guts out.